Saying Goodbye: My Father

Several weeks ago I mentioned in a Sunday Post that if there were fewer posts from me, or fewer comments, it was due to some family issues. My dad had been dealing with some serious health issues since last December and unfortunately was dealt additional challenges this year and it was too much to overcome. My precious father passed away on Saturday, June 23, 2018. 

The last two months have been hard, and the last two weeks have sometimes felt unbearable, but there is also some relief in knowing that there is no more sickness or pain or hospitals and procedures. There is comfort in that.


My father was a rarity. One of those pure souls you encounter very rarely. The kind of person who was above all pettiness, without ego, and never spoke unkindly of others.

He was reserved – often a man of few words. But he didn’t need many words, because his entire life was an example of how to live with dignity and honor. He was hard-working and honest with an impeccable professional reputation. It simply never would have occurred to him to knowingly do the wrong thing – in any aspect of his life.

My father was rather outnumbered in our house of all girls. But I don’t think he ever minded. When the family gathered, and “the girls” were all together (Mom, my sisters, and me), Daddy would just sit back and watch and take it all in – often with a smile on his face.

Never did my father need to be the center of attention. But he was always quietly there, a constant force in my life. A kind, steady, loving man who did more to show me about the kind of person I wanted to be than any other person in my life.

In the years to come, I will remember all these things about my father, but I will also remember the small things. The things that always make me smile because they were just him: the way he referred to “over yonder” and things being around the “co-ner” (not corner). His flannel shirts, his occasional cigar, and the fact that he always carried a handkerchief. His love of classic cars, the way he enjoyed a scrambled egg sandwich, and his sometimes surprising sense of humor.

My father worked hard, he loved his family. And he adored our mother.

And he will be forever loved and missed.

      
 


34 comments

  1. I am very sorry for your loss Tanya. We lost my Dad two years ago and he left a big hole in our lives. Your father sounds wonderful.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kim. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Right now it's still hard to grasp just how big that hole in our lives will be.

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss :( I cannot imagine the pain you are going through :( ((hugs)) If you need anything, just let me know <3

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    1. Thank you, Jessica. I appreciate that so, so much.

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  3. I can't imagine how terrible this has been for you and your family. He sounds like such a wonderful person and I'm glad you have lots of great memories. <3

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    1. Thank you, Sara. And you're right - I'm lucky enough to have many years of wonderful memories.

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  4. I'm so sorry love, I was really hoping that he would pull through but like you said, he's no longer in pain. Your dad truly sounds like a unique man who enjoyed life to the fullest. You and your fam are in my thoughts.

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    1. Thanks Amber. Yes, I'd hoped so, too. And at first the outlook was good but then it was one thing after another. I'm just so relieved he's not suffering. Thank you for the warm thoughts.

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss Tanya. I lost my dad a few years ago and they sound like very similar men - kind and generous.

    {{hugs}}

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    1. Thank you, Karen. We were both lucky to have such wonderful dads. ♥

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  6. I wish I could give you a real hug, but since I can't, ((HUGS)). Thank you for sharing such lovely things about your father with us.

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    1. Thanks Sam. I'll take any hug I can get.
      It feels good to share some of the things I love about him.

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, Tanya. He sounds like he was truly a wonderful person.

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    1. Thank you, Suzanne. He really was a special person.

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  8. I am so sorry to hear this, Tanya. Your father sounds like an amazing person and thank you for sharing a little about him today.

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    1. Thank you, Lauren. He really was an amazing person. ♥

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  9. Oh Tanya, I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a great man and father. Thinking of you in this time of sadness.

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    1. Thanks Aleen. I appreciate that so much.

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  10. I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful person.

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  11. oh no Tanya I am so sorry for your loss, your father sounds like an incredible person and it sounds like he had an amazing full life. Losing a parent isn't easy :( I send you lots of hugs

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    1. Thank you so much, Lily. I appreciate your kind words so much.

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  12. Tanya, my heart goes out to you. It sounds like the world lost a special soul. I know the pain you are enduring and the tough road you face over the next few months as I lost my beautiful mother far too early two years ago on June 30th. Hold tight to those you love and breath deep. One day at a time. It gets easier, but that hole in your heart never goes away. Hugs to you!

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    1. Thank you, Heidi. And I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I know losing our parents is inevitable, and it’s part of the cycle of life, but even knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. Hugs right back to you.

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  13. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this Tanya. Sending you lots of love. What a beautiful tribute this post is <3

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    1. Thank you so much, Erica. I appreciate that.

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  14. Oh no! I am so sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful tribute and it brought tears to my eyes. Sending you tons of love and hugs to you and your family.

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    1. Oh, thank you so much, Tina. And thank you for your kind words. They are much appreciated.

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  15. Oh Tanya, I'm so sorry! It sounds like your dad was a wonderful man who will be missed - and never forgotten - by those who knew him. ❤️

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    1. Thank you, Nicola. He really was a wonderful, special person. And he’ll always be loved and missed.

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  16. Tanya, I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. Your father sounds like an amazing man and a wonderful dad. I lost my step-father three years ago, and it's a loss that has changed my world. Please consider me a friend if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.

    Lauren (bookgirlsecrets.com)

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    1. Thank you so much, Lauren. I appreciate your kind words. And I'm so sorry for the loss of your step-father. Losing parents is going to happen, but knowing that sure doesn't make it any easier.

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  17. What a loving tribute. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad he's left such a wonderful legacy for you.

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. Thank you, Nicole. I appreciate that very much.

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